TITLE: Another Minute of Our Time - Post-Pusher
AUTHOR: Gabi Fisher
SPOILER WARNING: Pusher
CLASSIFICATION: UST, A
SUMMARY:Scully has to deal with what happens to and between her and Mulder in Pusher.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Scully, Mulder, Modell, or anyone/anything else connected with the X-Files. I am only borrowing them. CC, FOX, 1013, etc. owns them. No infringement intended.
The first part is written from Scully's point of view. It starts during the episode "Pusher" right after Mulder pulls the trigger on himself, and then aims the gun at Scully.
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I stood, too scared to move, though even more afraid to break eye contact. I felt almost as if that was the only thing that kept Mulder from succumbing to Modell. The only thing keeping Mulder from pulling the trigger. I did not even attempt to blink away the tear that slid down my cheek. I silently added pleas for Mulder to overpower Modell and put down the gun when I saw that my voiced pleas did nothing.
I saw into Mulder's eyes the battle that raged in his head for control of his hand. Just when it seemed that Mulder was losing the battle, he told me to run. Without a second thought, I ran from the hospital room. I only stopped long enough to pull the fire alarm before continuing down the hall. I remember hearing a shot right after I pulled the alarm, but I couldn't stop. I just kept going.
I continued running until I reached a door that led outside. I sat down on the first bench I saw. Only when I sat down did I realize that tears were streaming down my face. Not bothering to wipe the tears away, I just buried my face in my hands and continued silently crying.
When the tears had finally subsided, I waited for another few minutes and then went back into the hospital to see what had happened. I don't know how long I had been outside, but when I returned the room where the standoff had taken place, it was already back to the way it had been before Modell had entered it. I searched for someone who would know where Modell and, more importantly, Mulder had gone, but could find no one for several minutes.
A young nurse finally emerged from a patient's room and told me that Modell was in surgery because of his gunshot wound and Mulder, as well as the rest of the law enforcement officers, were outside again. Not bothering to ask how that bastard Modell was doing, I rushed back to the parking lot where all our vehicles were parked.
Almost everyone had already left, only a few officers and agents trying to get statements from the last couple people. I saw Mulder leaning against his car, most likely looking for me.
I walked up to him. "You can go if you want, Mulder. I have to give my statement and my car is parked just a block away. I'll be fine."
He probably knew I was lying. I wouldn't be fine for quite a while, though I never told him otherwise. Mulder would probably die of amazement if I ever did reply with anything other than "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" he asked, concern filling his voice.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. The moment I'm done here I am going to go home and go to sleep. If we didn't have to be at work tomorrow, I would probably sleep until next year. No point in you hanging around here any more. You've got to be tired. Go home and get some rest. God knows we all need it," I replied. Another lie, I thought. There was no way I would be able to sleep for quiet a while, no matter how hard I tried after today's events. But there was no reason to let Mulder know that. He probably knew anyway. At times I'd swear he was psychic or something...
"If your sure..."
"I'm positive. Go home. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning," I assured him.
He looked uncertain, but did not fight me. He got into his car and I watched his car drive away until I could no longer see it. Then I walked up to the people that were dealing with statements and the like and began recounting the standoff.
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When Scully was finished giving her story and was told she was free to go, she decided to go back to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee before going back to her apartment. She sipped it slowly after sitting at one of the Formica tables that filled the cafeteria.
She tried her hardest not to think about what had gone on in the small hospital room, but she could not get it out of her mind.
The fact that Mulder had barely hesitated before raising the gun to his own head and even less before pulling the trigger scared her. It scared her how little Mulder had thought before taking the chance of ending his life. She knew that he would rather have killed himself a thousand times before inflicting pain on her, but that did little to console Scully. She didn't know how she could function without Mulder, had he actually shot himself. She could barely remember a time before Mulder was in her life. She needed him in her life.
It also scared her how close Modell had come to using Mulder to shoot her. Had Mulder been any weaker, she would have had no chance. Scully found some strength in that Mulder had fought so hard, so desperately to prevent giving in to Modell and pulling the trigger while the gun was trained on her. Scully doubted that she would ever be able to get the look in his when he had pointed his gun on her out of her mind.
Scully wondered how much time would have passed, if Mulder had shot her, before he drew his own weapon and placed it against his own head.
Scully sighed and stood up. She had to escape her thoughts. She decided to check on Modell before leaving for her apartment.
When she arrived at Modell's room after talking to his doctor, she found Mulder already standing in the room. She walked up beside him and told him what the doctor had told her: Modell was in a coma from which he'd never awaken and that the tumor had been operable up until the end, but Modell had always refused any treatment.
"It was like you said. He was always such a little man. This was finally something that made him feel big," Mulder commented.
Scully reached for his hand and squeezed it, almost as if saying, "It'll be OK. We'll make it through this as we have everything else thrown our way. And I don't blame you for almost shooting me. I know it was Modell holding the gun, not you."
Mulder returned an understanding squeeze.
"Let's not let him take up another minute of our time," Scully said before leaving the room, finally on her way home.
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